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The densest element in the known Universe has been found!
Written by Administrator
~Discovery Announcement ~
The densest element in the known Universe has been found!
A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Pelosium. Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.The symbol of Pelosium is PU.
Pelosium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Pelosium activates CNNadnausium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons as Pelosium.
The newest must have AGW accessory -- already seen in Boulder
Written by AdministratorExcuse me Mr. Obama, I mean President Obama, Sir.
Written by Administrator Ah, sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir. . ...
Excuse me Mr. Obama, I mean President Obama, Sir. Um . . I know you're busy, and important and stuff. I mean, running the country is very important and -- ah -- I hate to bother you, Sir. I will only take a minute. Ok, Sir?
See, I have these missing pieces that are holding me up, and I was wondering, Sir, if you could take time out of your busy schedule and help me out. You know, no big deal, just some loose ends and things.
Well, listen, anyway, I can't seem to get some information I need to wrap this up. These things seem to either be "Not released" or "Not available." I'm sure it's just an oversight or glitch or something, so if you could you tell me where these things are I have them written down here somewhere -- oh wait. I'll just read it to you.
Could you please help me find these things, Sir?
1. Occidental College records -- Not released
2. Columbia College records -- Not released
3. Columbia Thesis paper -- "Not available"
4. Harvard College records -- Not released
5. Selective Service Registration -- Not released
6. Medical records -- Not released
7. Illinois State Senate schedule -- Not available
8. Your Illinois State Senate records -- Not available
9. Law practice client list -- Not released
10. Certified Copy of original Birth certificate -- Not released
11. Embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth -- Not released
12. Record of your baptism -- Not available
13. Why your wife, Michelle, can no longer practice law as an attorney? (Insurance Fraud?_
14. Why your wife has 22 assistants, when other First Ladies had one?
15. Why were you getting "foreign student aid" as a college student?
16. Which countries "passport" did you have when you visited Pakistan in 1981?
Oh and one more thing Mr. President, I can't seem to find any articles you published as editor of the Harvard Law Review, or as a Professor at the University of Chicago. Can you explain that to me, Sir?
Oh, but hey -- listen! I know you're busy! If this is too much for you right now -- I mean -- tell you what. I'll come back tomorrow. Give you some time to get these things together, you know? I mean, I know you're busy. I'll just let myself out. I'll be back tomorrow. And the day after. . ...
What's that Mr. President? Who wants to know these things?
We the People of the United States of America ! You know, the ones that vote.
2.. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!
3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March
17th) than Target sells all year.
4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears + Costco
+ K-Mart combined.
5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people and is the largest private
Employer, and most speak English.
6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the World.
7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger & Safeway combined, and keep
in mind they did this in only 15 years.
8. During this same period, 31 supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.
9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.
10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super
Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had 5 Years ago.
11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur At
a Wal-Mart store. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 Billion.).
12. 90% of all Americans live within 15 miles of a Wal-Mart.
You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground
work for suggesting that MAYBE we should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to Fix the economy.
This should be read and understood by all Americans Democrats,
Republicans, EVERYONE!!
To: President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature, It is
now official you are ALL corrupt morons:
* The U.S. Post Service was established in 1775. You have had 234
years to get it right and it is broke.
* Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years
to get it right and it is broke.
* Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get
it right and it is broke.
* War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it
right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred
to "the poor" and they only want more.
* Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44
years to get it right and they are broke.
* Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to
get it right and it is broke.
* The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our
dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a
budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before.
You had 32 years to get it right and it is an abysmal failure.
You have FAILED in every "government service" you have shoved down our
throats while overspending our tax dollars AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO
BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM??
Folks, keep this circulating. It is very well stated. Maybe it will end
up in the e-mails of some of our "duly elected' and their staff (they
never read anything) will clue them in on how Americans feel.

Difference between liberals and conservatives
Written by AdministratorAs Pres. Lincoln might say, some of this is true at least some of the time.
If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one..
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better
his
situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down..
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for
it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a
good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".
Recent Articles
State Representative candidate Jeff Ilseman on 29 November 1999, 17.00 by Administrator in News Flash ![]()
FOR
IMMEDIATE RELEASE
August 25, 2010
State Representative
candidate Jeff Ilseman, a Republican seeking the House District 12
seat, t | |
The densest element in the known Universe has been found! on 29 November 1999, 17.00 by Administrator in Humor ![]() ~Discovery Announcement ~The densest element in the known Universe has been found!A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Pel | |
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